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  • Banks

    Banks


    The origin of banks

    Although a very basic name, it does have a long history.

    I started getting in trouble at a very young age. The earliest memory my mother has is having to come get me from the principals office the 3rd day of Kindergarten. It seems I decided to pull down a young girls shorts clear down to her ankles, panties included. Several years passed and there were many more parental conversations with multiple principals, until I was moved into a new school system in the middle of 7th grade. Being a new student in a new school in the middle of a school year I set out to make a name for myself and the trouble only got worse. By the age of 14 I was involved in many illegal outlets that to this day I'm not very proud of, and I was on the verge of spending many years behind bars.

    My life changed for the better in October of 1994. My mother decided the only option for keeping my free time in check would be to get me a job. The issue was I was 14 and in school full time (or so she thought) and it wasn't easy to find someone willing to hire a troubled youth with limited working hours. After searching the entire city, and begging many business owners she convinced the owner of a small Italian restaurant chain to give me a job busing tables. After an 8 hour shift my first day I called my mother and asked if I could stay and work a double shift.

    My record slowly shrank and my pockets quickly grew, earning me the nickname "Bank Roll" which eventually shortened to banks. At 14 I had 2 mopeds, by 15 I had paid cash for a car that I couldn't drive for another year, and when I reached 17 I was made the youngest Store Manager in ACE Hardware history! I had even started renting my first apartment before most of my friends had graduated. The name stuck and followed me into gaming. Many of my old friends still refuse to call me anything else.

    The name has been capitalized and non-capitalized over the years. I prefer the latter but most of the time it ends up being forced into capitalization. I've never considered myself very proper so why should my name be?

    Early Computer Gaming

    Late in the year of 2000, I, like most guys in their late teens to early 20's, ran out to purchase a new game called Counter-Strike. With 5 of my friends also owning the game, (and gaming with them many hours a week) I slowly became very addicted to playing games online with friends. I never joined a "Clan" for CS but competed as what was known as a "Ringer" at that time. I would compete with several teams with several Steam ID's as needed but was never a permanent addition to any team.

    In 2003 I switched to playing a new game called Day of Defeat. I played it full time and joined my very first gaming clan. Allied Army [AA] was a clan composed of 200+ members. The clan was dedicated to several games but I was strictly playing and competing in DOD only. I really respected the motto of the team which was "Attitude is everything, skill is nothing". This motto was followed very strictly and we recruited players onto the team based on personality vs skill. Once on the team you were then bid on by Captains of certain teams to become a member of 1 of several internal divisions of [AA] for competition purposes. I was recruited to play for the [79thInf] as a Private First Class (PFC) as an MG class. I later moved on to competing as "Utility" player, meaning I would use what ever weapon was needed for our match, and sometimes playing multiple classes during a match. I moved up through the ranks of [AA] rather quickly and eventually held 1 of the top 3 ranks in the Clan (CSM).

    Allied army started to fall apart shortly after the release of the much anticipated Day of Defeat: Source. DOD:S was a complete failure in the eyes of the majority of our members, including this one. The game play was choppy at best, the maps failed at creating fair play for both sides, and the updates often created more problems than fixes. The community split very quickly and moved onto multiple other games leaving the clan empty and leaderless. The original creator of [AA] moved the team into Knights Online. The team still exists there with a few of the original members.

    I had so much respect for what that team was that I refuse to remove the tags from my name to this day. My final tag read [79thInf]Maj.banks[AA]
    After the disassemblance of [AA] I bounced around for a while. I first joined a clan called [K-2] Warcrew. I never really enjoyed the structure of the team, but it had a few enjoyable teammates that made it fun and we were very competitive. I spent about a year with them playing DOD until once again the team lost interest in competing in a game that had no support. I spent a few months playing as a Ringer for a few teams, and once again joined a new clan. I joined [TA] Total Annihilation and continued to play 6v6 and 3v3 in several leagues. The team was very dedicated to DOD and we really started to make a name for ourselves as one of the best new teams. We were moving up the ranks very quickly in CAL league when DOD just fell apart completely. Teams quit showing up for matches, leagues stopped supporting the game, and everyone lost interest in trying to recreate the past. DOD in my eyes had died.

    Team Fortress 2

    During my time playing DOD sometimes we'd mess around with some of our free games that had come with Steam packages. From time to time we'd play a game called Team Fortress. I never really enjoyed the game much. I found the play of the maps to be too congested and weapon classes seemed to be very uncreative. Despite my lack of interest in the game I was technically on the roster for a competitive team for several seasons and even joined a few matches when absolutely needed.

    In October of 2007 several of my old clan mates began playing the new version of Team Fortress, Team Fortress 2 (TF2). Since I had never enjoyed the original version I ignored the game for a few weeks writing it off as just the newest thing set to die in a few months. I wanted a few of the other titles in a package called The Orange Box from Steam, and thus received TF2 as part of the package. I installed the game on Nov 15 2007, and was addicted within a week.

    I started jumping around random TF2 severs with some buddies from my old teams, until sometime in June of 2008. One day I stumbled into a server playing a map called 2Fort by myself and just started blending into the background as an Engineer. At that time I prided myself as knowing many special places of placing a Sentry that others hadn't considered, that of course are common knowledge today. The spies didn't have as many tools back then either and weren't half as skilled. I started racking up kills very fast and had the habit of moving my gun every few kills to try and catch enemies by surprise. I had run a score up of about 32-0 and hack accusations started to fly around. I was being accused of things like "speed building" and "automatic drops" which I started to giggle at. I happened to be on the same team as a guy named [What!?]Oamen, who found these made up terms hilarious, and had also been working to help me me build most of my placements. We somehow decided there weren't enough kills to be had by both us playing Engie so we decided to team up. I would build a dispenser right next to his and he would build a gun in front of both of them. I was in charge of keeping the dispensers alive and he was in charge of the gun. Every 10 kills we would switch out the sentry gun and let the other partner rack up some kills. The next day I went back into the servers and Oamen suggested I put in my application to Team Interrobang.

    I went to the website, submitted my application, donated $50 to the team (bribery was never above TI), and the next day was given the nod by Oamen and 2 Sa's. I was made an official member of TI 06/26/2008.

    Drama Free



    It's pretty much common knowledge that I'm not one of TI's most beloved members. I'm known as having a bit of a short fuse in RL and it seems to travel into my gaming personality. I've been in heated arguments with many, seen the opposite of the majority more times than I can count, and I have no problem letting you know exactly how I feel if you piss me off. I think Arcanus has described me best with this comment "to this person community management is the art of saying "you're a douche, stop talking, and get a haircut". This was until Nov 8, 2008. That was the day I went drama free. My attempt was to get everyone, including myself, to chill out and knock off the drama (bitching, crying, trolling, general douchebaggery). I changed my avatar to the one shown here that stated "NO DRAMA VIOLATORS WILL BE BITCH SLAPPED", and applied a message at the bottom of all my posts stating "--drama free since NOV 8 2008--". Much like many of my failed attempts to fit in with normal society I failed at stopping the drama. It appears threatening to bitch slap someone for drama can actually cause more drama....

    After a few feeble attempts at continuing the drama free zone I eventually gave up my quest on Jan 22, 2009 posting "--drama free Since... Shit I give up--".
    You still need a haircut.

    Off Topic (The X-wife story)

    I know this is a bit out of order but since I've been asked by several people I thought I'd get it over with.... There is a long build up to the story but I feel it's necessary towards explaining my state of mind.

    The summer after graduating High School I was at a Steak and Shake with a few buddies one night at about 10 o'clock. We sat down at a booth across from a few girls I knew from school to order some dinner. I knew 2 of the girls as being friends of my sister, one of the girls was dating a friend of mine, and the 4th (eventually my X-wife) I heard had just recently broke it off with a guy I worked with. She looked really good that night and being that dating my sisters friends had been deemed off limits she was the only target anyway.
    Flash 3 years into the future and we were married.

    First of all, we should of never been married. We were on again off again too many times to count, and if there is one rule I try and pass onto all my single friends it is NEVER GIVE A GIRL A SECOND CHANCE. This doesn't necessarily relate to just the girl it relates to the two of you. If there was a good enough reason to break up, there is a good enough reason to stay away from the relationship, and we should of both stayed away. I believe she married the guy she saw in High School. I was popular especially in my group of friends, always had a girlfriend or dating a few girls, and naturally found a way of getting into lots of trouble. Unfortunately for her I was growing out of that. I on the other hand married strictly for sex. It's sad to look back now and think that, but it's true. She wore a size F bra, had a midwest build, and was willing to do about anything I came up with. Not a good idea to marry based strictly on a hard on, sex with anyone eventually grows old and you're left with the person. Our sexual experimentation does however come into play towards the end of this story.
    Flash another 4 years into the future.

    At this point we're barely on speaking terms. I was very unhappy with her drinking and shopping habits. She was also unhappy with me as I buried my disgust for her in my computer games. We were however approaching our 4th wedding anniversary and we both decided it would be good for both of us to get a cabin in Smoky Mountain's and spend a whole week with each other without distractions.
    We had what I thought was a nice 10 hour drive down to Tennessee and settled into our log cabin up in the mountains. We spent the next 3 days going to parks, playing miniature golf, going to the Dollywood water park, and having nice dinners. After coming home on the third day I was worn out and decided to turn on the TV and relax a little bit and she went out onto the porch to call "home". After about a hour I noticed she was still talking on her cell phone and I started getting a bit suspicious of who she might be talking to. I peeked out the window and saw a very upset look on her face. A few moments later she returned inside the cabin and looked pale in the face. I asked her "is everything ok?". Her response was the 4 words every married man fears more than anything on earth "we need to talk".

    The next few hours were a blur. I know a few things happened for sure. She told me she wanted a divorce, she wanted to go home 3 days early, I realized I was about to lose $1000 dollars prepaid on renting a cabin, and we had what I guess was break up sex somewhere in there.

    I was pretty upset, not angry upset, just upset. I suggested we stay the last 3 days and see if we could work some things out but she told me I had used my last chance already on the 10 hour drive down. It appears I was being tested on the way down and by how little or how much I talked to her determined the status of my marriage, and I had failed. I finally gave in and agreed to her terms. I didn't really want to get a divorce but if she wasn't happy, and I wasn't happy then why fight the inevitable. We began our 10 hour uncomfortable drive home, very uncomfortable drive home.

    When we arrived home we realized it was only a little over a week till Father's Day and we didn't want to ruin that. We decided to hold off on telling our family until after fathers day and continue living together until then. It really didn't change much in our relationship except make things very uncomfortable for me, although it didn't seem to bother her much, if at all. She still went out partying every night, she came home drunk, came and slept in the same bed as me, and even told me she loved me as she climbed into bed.

    I put up with it all because it was important for me to not ruin Father's Day, and because really I couldn't be mad at her if she wasn't happy. If you're not happy with me I shouldn't have the right to make you stay with me. So we started doing some research on divorce, started splitting bank accounts, and visiting shared institutions to split our shared bills. Everyone at these places stated how impressive it was that we were getting along so well while splitting asset, and that they'd never seen anyone getting divorced so mature about it. It really was all going great until the day after Father's Day.

    The day following Father's day we both told our families. My family was pretty upset but they pretty much already figured it out. The knew something was wrong because of the way I was acting and they knew me and my X had some serious issues. My X's family seemed to take it a different way. The phone calls from her side of the family started pouring in. The were pretty upset with the way she had been spending her free time out at the bars and they were very willing to give me ammunition to use in the divorce. At this point though I still loved her and was unwilling to try and damage her reputation or try and cheat her out of anything she might be owed. All of that changed at about Midnight that evening.

    My phone rang at about 11:50 that night which was unusual because everyone know I had to be to work about 5am so I was pretty pissed off when I answered the phone. I woke up out of a deep sleep to hear my X's brother and uncle's voices on the phone. They both started explaining to me that they had both heard that I was divorcing my X and that they had to tell me something. They both explained that they knew she was cheating on me with a guy at the bar she hung out at. They had both been witness to several things and had urged her to knock it off but had no luck.

    I saw blood, lots of blood. I had this guys name and started calling people to see if I could find out where he lived. Thank God that no one knew him because I might of gone to prison for a long time had I found out. I calmed down a little bit, and decided I'd catch him sometime, I'm sure he knew by now that I was coming for him anyway, leave him shaking for a bit. I decided to turn my anger elsewhere.

    I started packing her shit. I'm not talking a few personal items, I packed it all. I started in the living room and went wall to wall making sure not to miss one drawer or shelf in the entire house. Anything she owned before meeting me, anything that reminded me of her, and anything with her name or face on it. I packed her clothes, her jewelry, her bathroom products, and all of her 300+ pairs of shoes (a story for another time). I didn't use nice boxes, I didn't use suit cases, I threw everything in 55 gal black trash bags and started piling them in the back of my truck. The hours passed quickly and before I even looked up it was 4:30 am, but I wasn't even slightly tired I was running on pure hatred and had no thouht of slowing down. I called work and told them I was running a few hours late, and then it hit me.

    It was like a scene from a movie where the good guy gets his amazing plan. I ran back in the house and opened our "fun drawer" and grabbed approximately 10 dildos we had purchased throughout our relationship. I put fresh batteries into each and every one of them, turned them on full blast, and then inserted one into the very bottom of every single bag. I jumped into truck laughing beyond control all the way to her parents house where she was staying after telling her parents about the divorce. It was about a 15 minute drive and I could hear the constant hum coming from the bed of my truck the entire time.

    I pulled into the driveway and knowing the garage door code opened the door and began tossing her items from the back of my truck into the garage. I was tossing them straight from the bed right into the center of the garage. Each bag traveled about about 10 feet in the air and even the bags full of clothes seemed to make a crash when they hit the garage floor. It was still very early and the sound of all the different vibrations coming off of that hard garage floor in the quiet of the morning was almost deafening echoing off the walls. I must of made one hell of a racket because my X opened the door to the house to see me flinging the last bag of her shit onto the pile in the center of the garage. She was very confused as we were on good terms up to that point, so she screamed "What the hell are you doing?". To which I replied "I know everything you f***ing whore", while jumping back into my truck and squealing my tires as I left. With a middle finger out the window pointed right at her I saw her dad begin walking into the garage right behind her.

    To this day anytime I get upset I just picture her and her dad wondering what the hell that sound was and pulling out that first dildo out of the bag, and smile. Was it him holding his daughters dildo, or was it her desperately trying to turn off a collection of fabricated cocks in front of her own dad. Either way it makes for a sweet ending to a horrible story.
    We didn't talk much after that.